Between Duties and Dreams
by RockDiva
Summary: He had a duty he had sworn to fulfill. She had a duty she refused to accept. If only she could wake up from her dream, none of it would matter anymore. Takes place as additional scenes during the movie. H/A
1. Memories and Mally

**Author's Note - **Thank you for all of the amazing feedback on my first 3 submissions! Every review/fave/etc. is special to me and makes me feel like a million bucks.

This next effort spawns from reading the book adaptation umpteen times partnered with my favorite span of time in the movie being from the moment Alice begins her masquerade as Um until the end of the balcony scene. (Everything within that span of time is the heart and soul of the movie for me.) Basically, the following series is of additional moments that take place during that time frame - all structured around a common theme of duties and dreams. It begins following Alice's fleeing from Salazen Grum. (Because I felt that everything before that point was detailed enough. Plus, this is where the scenes start cutting back and forth between Alice and Hatter.)

Since I imagined everything to be like an addendum to what's already given in the movie/book, I admit, it doesn't seem to flow very smoothly. Also, if you haven't managed to read the original script which is floating around online, it has Hatter being dutifully devoted to the Resistance against the Red Queen, even more explicitly than in the final film. I use that original character development as a very big base of the Hatter portions of this series.

_Disclaimer: _By now everyone should know that anyone posting on FFN probably doesn't own anything they are writing about. I don't even claim to know if this plot, any of the specific details, etc. have already been used somewhere in this vast section as I haven't read everything. So, my apologies if you feel I have stolen something from you. I promise it was unintentional!

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**Memories and Mally**

Everything had happened so quickly. One moment she had been attempting to free him, the next she was fleeing for her life. She was fleeing for her life without him!

Alice rode the galloping Bandersnatch as the wind beat against her face, threatening to unleash the tears that were already forming in her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to turn back around, but it was no use. Tarrant had told her to run. Even as his own life was in danger once again, he only cared about getting her, or at least the Vorpal Sword, safely to Marmoreal.

It wasn't fair! Her dream had finally been going her way. Or at least it had felt that way when she was alone with Tarrant in the Red Queen's dressing room. So why did it have to come crashing down around her? Why had her dream made her insanely huge in a moment that could have been otherwise perfect? Well, perfect except for the fact they had been dangerously close to the Red Queen. It might have been quite difficult to explain why Um from Umbrage was kissing a mad hatter, she thought. But why had her dream then made him so stubborn? She could have just broken the chains and they could have fled to Marmoreal together.

_Together. _That had been her promise and now here she was breaking it.

"I'm ready to wake up now!" Alice screamed. Her command didn't bring her back to consciousness, but it did bring the Bandersnatch to a halt.

Bayard, who had been trailing behind, also came to a stop once he reached her side. "Is there a problem, milady?" he asked between heavy pants.

"Yes, there is a problem…" Alice started, but didn't finish her train of thought. She had already once taken out her anger on Bayard and he didn't deserve it again. "I just needed to rest a moment. And I'm sure he could use a rest too from carrying my weight," Alice patted the Bandersnatch on the head gently before dismounting.

"But if the red knights come searching for us," Bayard tried to make her see reason. Of course, it was no use. He'd already learned previously that Alice had a strong will of her own. Thus, they continued towards Marmoreal at a brisk walking pace.

"I'm sorry about your family, Bayard," Alice finally broke the silence they had been travelling in for at least a mile or so. She had been too angry to care when he told her that he'd betrayed Hatter for the sake of his wife and puppies. Now, she regretted having been so cold. "Tarrant didn't blame you," she hadn't heard him say so, but she was certain it was true, "and neither should have I."

Bayard looked up at the very large girl, slightly amused by the fact she had once been small enough to ride upon his back. "Thank you," he appreciated her words. She had indeed made him feel guilty for having done what he'd done. As he thought about it, he suddenly realized something he'd failed to before. While it was obvious Tarrant wasn't with them, it dawned upon him that it meant Alice had not succeeded in her quest to rescue him.

Bayard began to sniff the air as he studied Alice closely. His sixth sense clearly picked up on the many troubling feelings she was struggling with. He only felt guilty he hadn't taken notice before. He was certain it had to do with the fact the Hatter was still being held in Salazen Grum and it hit home. He understood the guilt and fear he smelled in her. It was the same guilt and fear he felt every waking moment he spent without Bielle and his pups. The feeling of not knowing tore him apart and he hated to see Alice go through the same thing.

Bayard knew he couldn't ask Time to turn back and give him the chance to make right his wrong against Hatter, but he could do his best to take Alice's mind off of her pain. And although he couldn't be sure, he thought that maybe Tarrant would appreciate it if he made sure Alice didn't hurt so much. "I wonder if you remember me at all." She looked down at him strangely and Bayard remembered Alice was convinced she was in a dream. He recalled her mentioning it when she'd ordered him to take her to Salazen Grum. "I mean, did you ever dream about me before?" He changed the question.

Alice thought about it for a moment. "I can't say I did," she answered. "At least, I don't remember. Then again, everyone here seems so convinced that I've dreamed them before, so maybe I have. But I'm afraid many of my dreams are nightmares. The only familiar creatures I've met so far have been Nivens, Chessur and Absolem. And even they seemed much odder when I was younger. I don't see how I could ever forget anyone as marvelous as you…or Tarrant," Alice's thoughts were back on the Hatter before Bayard had a chance to even wag his tail. "Do you remember me like he claims to?"

Bayard wasn't sure how to respond in a way that would make her feel better. Honestly, he remembered an Alice, but he hadn't recognized her as _the _Alice as Hatter had. However, he had no reason to doubt Tarrant's judgment and so knew the young lady beside him had to be the same Alice from before. "Hmm, let's see. I was only a puppy at the time, but I recall a feisty little girl who went around saying things were curiouser and curiouser. I'm certain her name was Alice. She had blonde curls and soft hands that gave the best pets a puppy could ask for." His nose became wet as he recalled such happy times. His attempt to cheer up Alice seemed to be working on himself instead.

"That certainly does seem like it could have been me," Alice thought deeply. She was one to say curiouser and curiouser when no one else she knew did. She gave an aggravated huff. "Why are dreams such horrible things? Why can't I remember you if I've dreamed you before? None of it makes sense." She was beginning to wish people didn't have the ability to dream at all. "Do you remember anything else about me?" She asked, proving her curious streak still existed.

Bayard thought hard for a moment. He debated whether or not he should continue since most of his memories of her involved a certain mad Hatter. "I remember you were the only one who brought sanity to…"

"Tarrant?" Enthusiasm seemed to return to Alice's voice for a moment and as she looked at him, Bayard saw a sparkle in her eye. Perhaps happy Thoughts of Tarrant was all she needed after all.

"I was going to say Tea Parties," he chuckled a little. "But, yes, I guess I mostly meant Tarrant. You two were quite the pair. He would go into one of his fits until you would give him a smile that could light up all of Underland. Or you would get so frustrated with everything being so curious and maddening until he would make you see the wonder in everything again. It was always very entertaining for a pup to watch," Bayard gave another soft laugh, but then realized Alice was no longer beside him. He turned to see she had stopped a few feet behind him. Maybe happy Thoughts_ weren't_ the best medicine.

"As much as I want to believe you, Bayard, I just can't." There were tears in Alice's eyes as the Bandersnatch lovingly nudged her leg with his head. Bayard came over and sat in front of her. "I just can't see how dreams like that would have been nightmares to me. They sound so perfect."

Bayard gave a small whimper as he wondered what else there was left to say. He said the first thing that came to his mind, "I remember when I was a younger dog and the Red Queen's reign of terror always felt like a distant thing. I had never suffered as some like Tarrant did. I also couldn't understand how the Red Queen's hate could extend to someone like me. You see, dogs have a strong duty to be man's best friend so how could a human betray that bond?" Bayard paused, his eyes dark as his thoughts drifted towards his family. "But just because I _can _remember thinking those things, it doesn't mean they are still or ever were true."

Alice took a moment to ponder his words before giving him an understanding look. He was right. She wiped away the tears that rested on her cheeks. She had no business crying at a time like this or fretting over whether or not she had ever dreamed of Tarrant before. It didn't matter if she did or didn't remember everything from past dreams. It didn't even matter if this was a dream, although she was still convinced it was. All that mattered at the moment was Tarrant had told her to get to Marmoreal. She wasn't promising to slay any Jabberwocky, but if the White Queen needed the Vorpal Sword in order for a champion to arrive, then she was going to get it to her one way or the other.

~ Salazen Grum ~

"She has the Vorpal Sword," Mallymkun said, trying to comfort Hatter in any way possible. He sat in a trance upon the floor of his cell, a position he'd been in for most of the time since they were both captured. He had only been aroused momentarily when Stayne had visited. Of course, it had been a mad arousal which only led to the Knave declaring they would both die at dawn.

"I know she has the Vorpal Sword, Mally," Tarrant finally spoke. "And now Underland will be safe. She is safe…" his sentence trailed as he thought about Alice in the halls of Marmoreal. He hoped that there she might find the wonder in Underland again.

Mally, however, did not necessarily agree. "How do we know Underland will be safe? The girl is too scared to wield the sword. Or foolish enough to wield it on something other than the Jabberwock," she spoke out of undeniable jealousy. She had come to rescue Hatter and that would-be Alice had messed things up. How dare Alice think it was her right or duty to save the day, with the Vorpal Sword no less?

"She will wield it come Frabjous day," Tarrant had never been convinced otherwise. "And she has every right to be scared or foolish if she pleases. This must all be very overwhelming for her. Seeing as she is still trying to find her muchness."

Mally wasn't as insane as Thackery or as prone to fits of madness as Hatter, but she could feel her temper welling up within her which could still prove to be a dangerous thing for anyone or anything within her path. "Oh, yes, let her be foolish, he says. That's the reason we're in here to begin with." She knew it wasn't entirely true. After all _she _had been the one to let Alice's name slip. However, she wouldn't have had made that mistake if Alice had just fled as soon as she'd gotten her hands on the Vorpal Sword. Why did she have to be so concerned with Tarrant all of a sudden? No, maybe she didn't want to know.

"You have to believe in her like I do," Tarrant tried to hold back his own temper. There was a part of him that partly understood Mally felt threatened by Alice. He just hadn't put together all the pieces that explained why yet. "She needs everyone to believe. The cause…"

Mally cut him off, "No, Hatter. It's the other way around. _She_ needs to believe. If not, the cause will never survive. Even if we gathered everyone behind her, what would they do if she told them she isn't the right Alice? Run right back to Bloody Big Head and have their heads cut off, that's what!" Mally hated that Hatter thought so much of Alice despite her obvious flaws. She had only been in Underland for a day or so (Time was a funny thing in Underland and so it was hard to tell when one _full _day had actually passed). Yet, Hatter was already willing to die for the sake of Alice in the name of the Cause.

"An' if we don' belie' in 'er then 'ow can we be expe'tin' 'er to belie' in 'erself?" His Scottish brogue appeared, but to Mally's relief it quickly passed. "She is Alice. She has the Vorpal Sword. She is safe. She will be our Champion." There would be no more arguing with him on the subject and so he changed it. "I am sorry, though, that you're in here too, dear friend."

His words stung Mally. Even after risking her own life to rescue him every bit as much as Alice had, she was just a dear friend while Alice was the Champion he believed in with all his heart. What had happened between them before she'd gotten there? Again, she didn't really want to know. "I'm part of the Cause just as much as you are, Hatter," she said with a soft sigh, which came out more like a squeak.

"Still, Alice would be better off on Frabjous day with you by her side," Tarrant's voice sounded hollow and Mally could sense he was falling back into another hopeless trance.

The little mouse wondered if he had already fallen to a place beyond the reach of her voice, but she spoke anyway. "No, Hatter. Alice needs _you_ by her side." It pained Mally to admit such a thing, but it seemed as though it were true whether she liked it or not. Feeling more helpless than she ever had before, Mally laid down in the cage, a few small tears escaping from her eyes as she did.

Tarrant had managed to hear what she said, but it only made his state of mind darker. He was suddenly consumed with a longing to be able to see Alice in her shining white armor on the glorious Frabjous day. To actually be there at her side, as Mally suggested, was something he had only ever dreamed about. However, as he stared at the bars that held him in, he knew it would remain a dream. But as long as she was safe, that was all that mattered.

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**Okay, so I know I took liberties with Bayard having been a puppy and a part of Alice's original adventure. Please don't shoot me for it! I also would like to say that Bayard's memory of Alice and Tarrant being quite the pair during her first adventure was directly inspired by the lovely web series, _When Curiosity Met Insanity. _If the flow proved really confusing and you would like to know where each scene is supposed to take place in correspondence with the film, please feel free to ask (and my apologies for making it so confusing!)._  
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	2. Conversations with Cats and Queens

**Author's Note - **I would like to reiterate that these pieces are based on the book adaptation of the film (with also some major inspiration from the draft script). The book embellishes the plot quite a bit. There are things that happen are described entirely different than they actually happen in the movie. Thus, if I describe an event that happens in the movie, but it doesn't gel with what you actually see in the movie, the reason is because I'm describing it based on how it happens in the book. Hope that makes sense. Just don't want tons of reviews like, "In the movie..." That's not to say, though, that I'm not grateful for any review you take the time to leave me :) The following takes place sometime after Chessur has first asked for Tarrant's hat and before the dawn execution.

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**Conversations with Cats and Queens  
**

Tarrant did not want to appreciate the floating feline who was dangling keys smugly on his tail. He did _not _want to consider his past cowardice redeemed. Yet, he knew he had to get out (for many reasons which would send him into a fit of madness if he were to think about them again) and Chessur was willing to help him. Tarrant grit his teeth slightly, "Well, Chess, Ah s'pose Ah shoul' a'least say…" he couldn't bring himself to do it. There had been too much animosity between them and although it would never be clear who was right and who was wrong, Tarrant wasn't above being prideful.

Fortunately, Chessur agreed. He _whished_ around quickly so that the keys were as far away as possible from the Hatter. "Tarrant Hightopp, don't you dare thank me or I will put these keys right back where I found them. Then you will be headless in the morning and I shall still have your hat when it falls from your rolling head." The sarcasm dripped from every syllable of the cat's words, but Tarrant didn't believe it was entirely untrue. Chessur _would _probably overcome his distaste for blood for the sake of stealing a dead Hatter's top hat.

"So, you're just doing this to wear the hat?" Tarrant still wasn't certain why Chessur wanted his hat so badly. If anything, he suspected it was another proof of the Chesire Cat's spiteful attitude towards him – as though maybe he wanted to take something else dear from him. _No!_ Tarrant shook his head very quickly, trying to focus on something else. There was no time for memories and madness. He had to remember his oath: Downal wyth Bluddy Behg Hid! And right now, that oath meant working with Chess on their plan.

"Maybe a little for poor Alice's sake, but mostly for that exquisite piece of headwear, yes," Chessur's eyes glowed with a strange lust as he looked at it once again.

However, only part of Chessur's reply had actually been processed by Tarrant. "What do you mean poor Alice?" He wasn't sure if he should be worried or angered by the comment. Had something happened to her? Had she _not _managed to escape after all?

"Yes, poor Alice." Chess couldn't care one way or the other that Tarrant was close to becoming frantic over the whereabouts of Underland's soon-to-be Champion. "The poor girl has fancied herself to _you _though I have no idea why. I am merely looking out for her interests no matter how…misguided," he seemed to sneer a little, in the way only a cat can sneer.

"What _are _you going on about, Chess?" Tarrant's face turned from worry to confusion. Why had that stupid feline gotten him close to the brink of madness for no reason? And now why was Chessur so convinced that getting him out would be a favor to Alice?

"Oh, don't give me that look," Chessur rolled his large eyes a little. "You and I both know you aren't _that _mad. Why else would _the _Alice risk her safety coming to Salazen Grum? And quite frankly the safety of all of Underland," Chess added, slightly annoyed by her foolishness.

"She had to come. For the Vorpal Sword," Tarrant tried to reason, but there was nothing doing. He couldn't deny the many thoughts that were beginning to resurface in his mind. They were thoughts which could sway him from his course if he didn't do anything about them. He wasn't sure he _wanted_ to do anything about them, but he knew that would be a very _slurvish _act on his part. The resistance needed him after all.

"That was a fortunate happenstance," Chess was growing bored with the conversation with each passing second, as was obvious as he rolled over on his back in midair and dangled the keys above his head as though they were yarn. "For whatever reason, Fate sent her looking for you in order to lead her to the Vorpal Sword. Although, I do believe Fate should have been a little kinder with whom she matched our precious Champion with."

Tarrant couldn't take it anymore. The back and forth, Chessur's implications, the thoughts in his mind, the recollection of Alice promising they would go to Marmoreal together, his wanting to kiss her so madly – it all threatened to bring what was left of his resolve crashing down around him. Why couldn't Chess just unlock the blasted cell door already and let him be free? Or was the prison a mental one he could never escape lest he find a different key?

"Why, Tarrant," Chessur rolled back over – his curious instincts getting the better of him. "You actually look as though you're surprised." Tarrant was given a moment to breathe as he forced himself to listen to what Chess was saying now. "When a lovely young lady goes out of her way to try to free a man, it has to mean something."

Chessur suddenly evaporated and there was a long, deafening silence until, at last, there was the sound of a key turning against a latch followed by the soft sound of the cell door opening slowly. After it was wide open, Chessur reappeared. "So, clearly Alice would prefer it if you not have your head offed in the morning," the feline finally got to the point he had been trying to make. He and the Hatter had their differences, although they could be accused of being nearer to friends than enemies than they wanted to accept, but Chessur was certain if he didn't help Tarrant, Alice would be out of sorts and most unable to wield the Vorpal Sword. Then, everything everyone had ever worked for would be for nothing. Even if he claimed to have no interest in politics, Chessur wasn't as uninvolved as he liked them all to believe.

Despite the now open cell, Tarrant remained seated upon the floor, his eyes transfixed blankly before him. _Alice wants you alive! _A voice screamed inside his head as all of the Chesire Cat's words swirled around in there. _But why should she? She nearly didn't make it out because of you. _He attempted to criticize himself, but the voice screaming Alice wanted him safe drowned out everything else. Chess was right. She _had _risked her life for his sake.

"Why are you still sitting there?" Cats are not patient creatures in any world, but Chessur was even less so than others. "Are we switching places or aren't we?"

Tarrant stood to his feet with a new determination. If Alice cared enough to want him alive, then he had to go through with the plan. He only wished he could run all the way to Marmoreal and reassure Alice she hadn't deserted him to death. Would she be overjoyed to see him or was Chess merely playing a mean trick on him?

It didn't matter anyway, Tarrant resolved. His duty was still at Salazen Grum. The morning would surely prove a final chance to rally the people to stand up against the Bloody Red Queen. It was what he had sworn to accomplish and there was no turning back now. No matter how much he was beginning to want to see Alice again, it was for Alice he had to see the morning through. She needed the faith of the people behind her. She needed a reason to regain her muchness. Or maybe he just needed to prove his strength to her.

"Tick tock, Tarrant. Dawn is approaching," Chessur was seconds away from giving up on his good deed. It wasn't like it would bother him too terribly. Suddenly, he noticed Tarrant going to pick up his hat, a habit of second nature. "Ah, ah, ah," Chess grinned from ear to ear and Tarrant remembered the plan.

Upon Tarrant's exiting the cell, Chessur gave him the keys and entered instead. Tarrant shut the cell door and locked it, even though no locked door could hold Chess in. He watched as the feline began circling around his hat in a most obsessive fashion. "Remember the deal, Chess. It's only yours if the plan doesn't work." Tarrant had most certainly not promised Chessur the hat for good, but only if he didn't survive.

"It will be time well spent," Chessur finally grabbed the hat and sat it upon his head, a delighted grin upon his face as he did. Then all at once, his body morphed, smoke swirling here and there as it did, until he was an exact replica, save his eyes, of the man now on the other side of the bars. As Tarrant shook his head at the sight and was about to leave to free Bayard's wife and pups, Chessur purred, "Just think, Tarrant. Soon Alice will realize she was worried for no reason. _The _Alice worried over you, what has Underland come to?"

This time there was an undeniably mean spirited lull to his voice, but Tarrant chose to ignore it. Whether or not he dared to hope Alice cared so much for him as to actually be worrying about him now that she was safe (not that he liked the idea of her worrying about anything), Tarrant had made his decision. Thoughts of Alice would have to wait.

~Marmoreal~

However, thoughts of Tarrant wouldn't wait. Not for Alice. She was safe and sound within Marmoreal's walls, but her mind was still miles away at Salazen Grum. Just as Chessur had assumed, Alice was very much worried. Unlike Hatter, she did not have a duty to focus her attention on. In fact, the only duty she had felt since her bizarre dream had begun was to save Hatter.

Alice hated feeling helpless, but that's how she felt. Everyone expected so much of her. _Muchness. _She would despise that word if it weren't Tarrant's own description. She had tried muchness and it hadn't gotten her anywhere – or at least it hadn't gotten Hatter anywhere _safe. _

This made her feel even more helpless. He was in that awful place to begin with because he believed in her blindly. And she was certain since he had fought Stayne just enough for her to escape, there would be no possible way Tarrant would be able to escape a sentence of execution. How long did it usually take for heads to be offed after the Bloody Red Queen shouted her infamous words?

She tried hard not to think about Tarrant's fate, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't manage her mind to settle on anything else long enough to forget about him. She did not care to think about slaying Jabberwocky's or what Oraculums foretold. She did not want to think of armor and Vorpal Swords. The only thing her thoughts desired was to know if Tarrant was safe.

"Thoughts are a funny thing in Underland, Alice," the White Queen joined Alice where she stood in the garden. It was quite late and Mirana knew there must be something keeping Alice from resting. "They are much happier when they are shared."

Alice turned and looked at the queen, wondering a bit how she could have perceived her struggle against thoughts so easily. It was no wonder everyone preferred her as their ruler over the likes of the Red Queen. "Actually, thoughts are happier when they are shared where I come from as well. Only, no one else is happy when they are," she sighed a little, knowing that was how she had come to be in this mess to begin with. She simply hadn't known how to share her thoughts or the moments when she had shared them, she'd gone about it the wrong way (although, she wasn't sure if there _was _a right way where she came from).

"Never be afraid to share a Thought, my dear," Mirana answered wisely, hoping this would urge her to speak the things which were currently weighing heavily on her mind.

Alice bit her lip before turning away again. Mirana took this as a sign she was not ready to share, but just as the queen was about to leave her alone again, Alice relented. "It's all my fault. Had I just told everyone what I wanted or didn't want, maybe I wouldn't have bumped my head and come here in the first place."

By now, Mirana was well aware that Alice assumed she was only dreaming. She didn't argue the illogic, but instead allowed her to continue. "Had I only said no to Hamish instead of running off like a mad woman…" Alice paused. Calling herself a mad woman meant something much deeper to her now that she had met Tarrant. Of course, this caused her to remember her point of distress all over again.

"I think I would have even said yes to him if I knew I could have stopped all of this from happening. I would have said anything to anyone if it meant saving Hatter!" Alice realized too late she had practically declared her growing affection for Tarrant in front of the White Queen. She spun back around with slight dread, almost as if waiting to meet the same critical glare her mother would have given her if she were there.

However, Mirana's caring expression hadn't changed to one of shock or disgust because of Alice's most "improper" outburst. Instead, she simply gave her a knowing smile. "See, now, doesn't that feel much better?" Alice had to admit it was a good start and so gave a small nod. "Alright then. Now, what's this about saving Tarrant?" Mirana tried to disguise her excitement by this new turn of events.

"I failed," Alice said, shaking her head as she did. Her brow was furrowed as though she was confused why the White Queen didn't already understand. Didn't she know Tarrant was in danger of his life, if it wasn't already too late? "I failed to save him. The Red Queen has done who knows what to him and it's all because of me."

"Yes, it is," Mirana said with a smile, which startled Alice a little. She hadn't expected to hear the White Queen agree with her. That wasn't usually how things worked in these types of situations. Then again, wasn't that what she had been waiting for? Wasn't she tired of people telling her she was wrong? "But who said anything about your failing to save Tarrant?" There was the catch. The White Queen did think she was wrong.

"He's not here!" Alice raised her voice angrily, not even caring with whom she was speaking. "I promised him we would come to Marmoreal together. I didn't keep my promise. I deserted him. I shouldn't have run when he told me to. I should have stayed and suffered with him!"

Thankfully, Mirana was not easily offended, or at least she did well to control her emotions. She waited patiently for Alice to finish before speaking just as calmly and confidently as before. "You may not have kept your promise, but it doesn't mean you failed at _saving_ him." There was a brief pause before Mirana continued. "Tarrant Hightopp may have a weak mind at times, but I promise you, dear, he's not weak. He is committed to the cause."

"I know," Alice interrupted. "When he realized he was making hats for the Red Queen, he became furious. I'm only glad I was there to stop him from hurting himself." Alice remembered the moment vividly. She had been utterly frightened. She hadn't been frightened of his madness, but of what his madness might do to him. Then, there had been that short span of time, as they held each others' hands and she'd wished more than anything her lips weren't three times the size of his. She felt herself flush at the recollection.

"It seems that one was a pleasant Thought," Mirana had seen the small bit of color come to Alice's cheeks and looked at her with a gleam in her eye. "And pleasant Thoughts need only be shared with those they are about," she added.

"It would be a more pleasant thought if Tarrant were safe," Alice sighed in response.

"But we do not know he isn't," Mirana tried to reassure her that all hope wasn't yet loss. "And let us get one thing straightened out now so perhaps you can get some needed rest. You did save Tarrant." Alice looked at the queen as though _she _were now madder than Hatter. She opened her mouth to protest, but Mirana gently raised a delicate hand. "Tarrant has sworn himself to his duty. He has been driven further and further into madness for fear his duty would never be fulfilled. Yet, he has never wavered. Whether or not you choose to slay the Jabberwocky on the Frabjous day, your being here has given Tarrant hope again. You have saved the cause and that means you _have _saved Tarrant. And something tells me he wouldn't want you thinking otherwise." Mirana chose to leave her with everything they had just discussed, hope in her heart that it would be enough to give Alice some peace.

Alice watched the queen reenter the palace before turning her gaze back in the direction of Salazen Grum. She dared to hope Mirana was as wise as she was benevolent. She wanted to believe that there was still a chance the Hatter was alive. Even if she was still convinced it was all a strange dream, Alice did not know if she could handle losing Tarrant in a way worse than simply waking up. Her father had always said dreams couldn't hurt her, but she was certain he would be wrong in this case. Losing Tarrant would hurt her deeply.

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**Okay, so this chapter was actually much more inspired by the draft script than just the book. I simply can't get enough of how Tarrant was originally much more passionate for the Resistance. Yet, in the script, he also states Alice could almost make him forget his duty of bringing down the Bloody Red Queen. So, that's where this character exploration comes from in this chapter. Even if it was almost entirely abandoned in the final movie, I like to think Hatter still had to struggle inwardly between his duty to the Underground and Alice ^_^ Additionally, there was a scene with Alice and Mirana that also got cut that inspired the way I wrote their bit here. _  
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	3. Reunions and Decisions

**Author's Note - **So...I perhaps take extreme liberties with this next chapter as it takes place between Hatter safely coming to Marmoreal and the balcony scene. I mean, there probably doesn't _need _to be a scene here, but something has always felt missing in the backstory to me. I mean, I'd like to know how and why Tarrant went from being so seemingly oblivious (or _purposely_ oblivious perhaps...) to Alice's being convinced she was dreaming to willing to put up with her telling him he's not real and so on. In theory, wouldn't that have made him react a little more madly (like her response about not slaying did) unless something else happened before? So, that's why I chose to create the following scene :)

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**Reunions and Decisions  
**

Her dream was on her side again! Alice still couldn't believe it.

All during the previous night, her fear for Tarrant had progressed to a nearly uncontrollable state. At dawn, after having slept for a few hours, she awoke with such a startle Mirana had heard it from her own private chambers. Thankfully, however, Alice's discomforting thoughts about Tarrant had gradually eased as the day had progressed. Still, it wasn't until she had seen Hatter coming over the hill towards Marmoreal with her own eyes, bringing Bayard's family with him as he came, that the final bit of doubt flew out of Alice's mind.

Alice had discarded all propriety at the sight of him. She had run like the wind and thrown her arms around him. Even as she remembered the moment, she couldn't get past the way he had gushed about how happy he was to see her again. She could still feel his hands (they felt so very real for a dream) as they held onto hers with all his might. He had even started towards a state of giddy madness and she had had to pull him back out of it before he embarrassed them both – seeing as he had begun rambling on about her being her right-proper Alice size.

A blush came to her face as she stole a glance of him beside her at the White Queen's dinner table. She wondered if his calling her the right-proper Alice size meant the same thing to him as it did to her. Alice couldn't be sure if what she had felt with him in the Red Queen's dressing room had been all a product of her own feelings or if Tarrant had wanted to kiss her as well.

Of course, there was no time for her to dwell upon the subject now. They were all in the midst of a wonderful, albeit humble, celebration. They were celebrating the miraculous escape of Tarrant, Mally, the Tweedles, and Bayard's family as well as the fact that Tarrant had started a revolution in the process. However, Alice also suspected they were all secretly celebrating the fact that their Champion had, as they were determined to think, _returned. _That was another subject Alice didn't care to think about at the moment. She was still so very pleased to have the Hatter safe and she wanted nothing to ruin it.

"My dear friends," Mirana stood to her feet at the end of her grand table and everyone immediately turned their attention towards her. "For many years, you have all devoted yourselves to me in spite of the doom that always awaited you if my sister found out your crimes against her." Alice couldn't be certain, but she thought she saw a hint of sadness in the White Queen's eyes as she mentioned the Red Queen. It seemed like such a deep sadness, one that Alice could only relate to the loss of her own father or perhaps the strained relationship she had with her mother.

"Some of you have given oaths to protect me at all costs. Others have given themselves to secretly organizing those who would be loyal to me on the Frabjous day. And all of you have done so at great cost. Some of you have been forced to serve my sister," Mirana looked at Nivens and Bayard with a forgiving smile. "Some have already given their lives entirely," there was a solemn moment of silence for those already executed by the Red Queen. "And then there are some of you who have suffered a loss so terrible at the hand of Iracebeth, I fear not even the restoration of my crown could ever make it right again." Mirana paused here, looking at Tarrant directly.

Without thinking, Alice reached over and placed her hand atop Tarrant's. He looked at her as she smiled at him; he was grateful that she had somehow perceived the bit of madness he had been about to fall into. The White Queen was also grateful for Alice's presence, as she had known her words would be hard for the Hatter. "So, friends, I can only thank you for everything you have given to me and for me. I have confidence our Champion will make right Underland again when tomorrow comes. However, should the morning break with no hope, I declare from this moment forth to hold your oaths fulfilled." She raised a goblet as everyone else followed suit. "May your only remaining duty be to that which your heart desires," Mirana smiled before lifting the goblet to her lips and sealing her toast with a drink.

Alice pondered if she had the right to drink to the toast seeing as she had not done much of anything to help the White Queen. She'd gone against Bayard's instructions to Salazen Grum. There she had fumbled in her promise to rescue Tarrant and had nearly not even made it to Marmoreal with the much needed Vorpal Sword. And any thought of being the Champion was entirely out of the question. Yet, she had tried her best and she thought maybe the queen would be offended if she didn't drink to the toast at least for those more deserving than she. Thus, she looked at Tarrant, as though she meant the toast most specifically for him, before taking a drink.

Through this moment, however, Alice noticed Tarrant had _not _drunk to the toast. "Hatter?" she kept her voice low so that only he could hear.

"My duty has forever been to rid Underland of the Bloody Big Head," there was confusion evident in his voice as well as his yellowing eyes. "She is still queen."

Alice looked at him, curious how she could have dreamed someone so devoted yet so half-mad. She thought carefully before speaking. "Queen Mirana said you could follow whatever duty your heart desires," she was glad when this got his attention and he looked at her. "If the duty of your heart is still to that, then the White Queen hasn't forbidden you from seeing it through however long it takes. She has simply given you allowance to follow other duties, should they come along."

Alice realized her hand was still upon his when Tarrant moved his hand so to entwine his fingers carefully about hers. He was studying her face quite diligently and Alice wondered what he was thinking about. Why did he have such a confused look in his eyes all of a sudden? "Alice, I…" he was about to say something, perhaps something very important, when Mally came scurrying down the table towards them.

"Hatter, the White Queen wants to speak with you," Mally said as soon as she reached them. Her eyes were fixated on the placement of his and Alice's hands until they separated and Tarrant excused himself.

Alice and Mally both watched him walk towards the far end of the table until he reached the White Queen, sitting down in the empty seat closest to her. Then, Mally turned and gave Alice a very serious, very threatening look. "If you dare hurt him, so help me…" The dormouse didn't finish her threat, but Alice was sure she meant it would be something terrible she'd do.

"Only I could dream up such curious things," Alice said to herself as she watched Mally scurry back to her seat.

Meanwhile, Tarrant was discussing with Mirana the very fact that Alice was still convinced she was dreaming. "I'm sure she'll come around. I know she'll find her muchness," the Hatter looked at his the rightful queen hopefully, but the lack of a smile on his face betrayed his own fears.

Mirana studied Tarrant carefully. "This is all very difficult for you. I can tell." She sighed, wishing she could make all of her loyal subjects happy again.

"She doesn't even remember me," he had a hard time not running away in a mad fit at the thought. He had been trying hard to ignore the fact that Alice not only thought it was all a dream, but also that she had no recollection of him.

"From what Alice has said about Thoughts, Upland must treat Memories just as unfriendly," Mirana considered aloud. She then noticed the sorrow in Tarrant's eyes. "However, I believe her heart still remembers you." She smiled and Tarrant looked at her with hopeful confusion.

"I-I don't understand," the Hatter so deeply wanted Alice to remember him, but she didn't. What did the White Queen mean by her words?

"If Alice believed without even a small inkling of doubt that this were nothing but a dream," Mirana started, choosing each word cautiously and methodically, "then she would not have felt it so necessary to rescue you." She paused, noticing that Tarrant's bow tie had flared ever so slightly more than it had been before. "You see, she should have been just as adamant as she is now about being our Champion. So, I believe her head may tell her it is all a dream, but her heart knows it isn't. Her heart knew well enough to make her want to save you, because it was afraid to lose you again. It knows you are real."

Tarrant suddenly remembered several things that had gotten lost in his mind in the midst of the celebration. He recalled the night before in his cell, how Chess had told him that Alice had wanted to rescue him. He recalled how he had suddenly felt so much more passionate about seeing her again than he did about fulfilling his duty. He recalled the way she had rushed to greet him only a little while earlier, seemingly enough proof of Chessur's words. He recalled how he had been so enthralled by the fact she was once again her right-proper Alice size and what that could mean if he could just have the chance.

As these Thoughts swirled around a little, the Hatter turned his gaze towards Alice. He watched her intently as she smiled at the Tweedles who were currently entertaining her. He had killed Time waiting to see that smile again. Only now, it graced the face of the beautiful young lady she had become. He couldn't deny the new bit of confusion this caused him. Was it wrong for him to feel this way? Was it wrong to care for _the _Alice? He turned his attention back towards the White Queen quickly, as if suddenly ashamed.

"It's alright, Tarrant," Mirana seemed to understand.

He smiled gratefully. "Will she ever really remember me?" The sadness returned to his eyes as the terrible Thought that plagued him resurfaced.

"I don't know," Mirana said honestly. It was the same uncertainty she secretly felt towards the coming morning. Would Alice ever really remember Underland and take her rightful place as Champion? "But will it change the way you feel about her if she never does?" Mirana decided the only way to answer his question was with another question.

Several voices clamored in his mind, one very predominantly being his fear that she would never remember him and another being that she did not care for him as he hoped she might. However, just like his passion for the cause had always somehow made him see reason, his heart suddenly felt a new duty and it overpowered the madness within him. "No," he finally answered.

He now recalled Alice's explanation to him about the White Queen's toast. She had been right about other duties coming along for he _did _now feel a duty that was stronger than the cause. He felt a duty to be there for Alice just as she had been there for him. He would accept that she thought it was all a dream for however long she did. He would continue to believe in her even if she refused to believe in him. Tarrant picked up the goblet that sat on the table in front of him, not caring who it had belonged to before, and finally drunk to the toast. His oaths were fulfilled. Alice would be his duty now.

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**POSSIBLE MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BOOK ADAPTATION: Now, before you say, "Alice doesn't run to Hatter, throw her arms about him or even hold his hands..." I assure you she does in the book adaptation :) ****MAJOR SPOILERS OVER NOW!**** Similarly, you might be thinking, it was night time so how did they have the chance to have a celebration prior to the balcony scene? Well, Time is pretty funny in Underland you know...that and in the book it's described as evening when Tarrant and the others make it to Marmoreal, so yeah, I'm taking liberties with that :) _  
_**


	4. Moonlit Remembrance

**Author's Note: **So, we're supposed to believe that Alice tells Tarrant she'll miss him when she wakes up, Tarrant makes a confused face, and then they stare off into the distance and that's that? Well, I can't believe that, so here comes my addition to the balcony scene. This was also originally going to be the final chapter of this very scattered ficlet. And it may still be the end if my muse never takes the wonderful ideas thrown out to me by _Manniness _(who also beta'd this chapter for me) and does anything useful with them. So, my apologies if 1. this is the end and you feel it unsatisfying or 2. if it takes a while before my muse returns from my other forthcoming story to this one.

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**Moonlit Remembrance  
**

The silence that now existed was only on the outward. For on the inside, Tarrant's reason was screaming for him to say something. _I'll miss you when I wake up._ Her words reverberated loudly in his ears and a voice shouted to him not to miss an opportune moment. _I'll miss you when I wake up. _What more of an invitation did he need? "I'll miss me too when you wake up." As soon as he had said it, Tarrant was painfully certain that was not at all the thing his reason had wanted him to say. It sounded too mad!

Alice stood up straight and looked at him curiously, noting what seemed to be slight embarrassment in his features. "You know, I hadn't thought of it that way." Her response surprised him. "If I wake up, it would mean you couldn't go on existing doesn't it?" She pondered it for a moment. On the one hand, it only made sense that he would no longer be able to roam through Underland being delightfully mad if she were to wake up. On the other hand, he already claimed he had existed many years without her even remembering having dreamed him before. Suddenly, there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Confusion gripped Alice as she turned her gaze towards the balcony floor and furrowed her brow.

The Hatter hadn't meant to break the silence in such a way, but Alice didn't seem to think worse of him for it. In fact, her face seemed to betray that many Thoughts were hard at work behind her eyes. Tarrant felt a twinge of hope that perhaps she was close to remembering something. "I…I…think I should have said…" he stuttered a little before finding a bit of sanity to grasp onto, "I'll miss _you _too when you wake up."

The previous discomfort Alice had been feeling vanished and she immediately looked back at him. Now, more than ever, she didn't want to wake up. She didn't want to lose him. Even with his madness, he was perfect. Maybe it was his madness that made him perfect. She couldn't really say. She only knew she had never met anyone so committed to a cause besides her father. They had called Charles Kingsleigh mad, but he hadn't been. Not really. Yet, here was Tarrant Hightopp who _was _mad and he still managed to stay devoted to his duty.

_And here I am not even willing to slay a Jabberwocky that can't even hurt me because it's just a dream. _All of a sudden, Alice's thoughts took a drastic turn. Now she _had _to wake up. More than ever she wanted to escape. She wanted to escape piercing green eyes that could unknowingly persuade her to be the Champion if she looked into them any longer. But she couldn't look away and each second brought at least ten new untamed thoughts to her mind.

"Alice?" Tarrant hated the look of fear that had taken hold of her face. She was the Champion of Underland. She was supposed to have muchness not worries. He very slowly reached out his hands and cupped her face just as she had done for him.

As if proving she really was half-mad like Tarrant, this gesture brought her mind back to the moment. The only thought that remained was the White Queen having told her to share happy thoughts with those they were about. "You frighten me in a way I have never been frightened," Alice quickly grabbed onto his wrists so that he couldn't recoil. It was obvious he had already misinterpreted what she meant so she hurried to explain. "You are the most vivid dream I have ever had and more frightful than all the others. But it's only because you're more wonderful than all the others. I'm afraid of waking up and losing you."

She paused, seeing even in the dark of night, the way his eyes brightened until they seemed to glow. This only reminded her of what she wanted to say next, which wasn't quite as happy. "But I'm also afraid I don't deserve you. Absolem said I'm only almost Alice. You deserve _the _Alice. She's the one who would see to it your duty does not fail. You do not know how much I admire you for your strength and devotion," she finally brought herself to admit it in spite of how much it made her want to be just as strong and devoted to becoming _the _Alice, a realization that really did scare her.

Alice, of course, did not realize that the only duty Tarrant now felt was right there in his very hands. He thought hard about what he could possibly say to her. Thankfully, the touch of her held any madness at bay so he could think sanely enough. "I'm not as strong as you think," he sighed as he used one hand to stroke one of her curls, something he had wanted to do since the Chesire Cat had brought her to the tea party, before returning the hand to where it had been on her cheek. He recalled the way he had thought of abandoning the cause just to see her again and he didn't want her thinking more of him than she ought, especially if it meant she was thinking less of herself. "I had very _slurvish _thoughts of you, Alice," his eyes darkened with shame.

"Slurvish?" Alice didn't quite understand, but something about the way he said it made her heart leap even though he seemed ashamed.

"Aye, very selfish thoughts of you," his voice was low and a hint of brogue had appeared. "There were times I only wanted to live to see you again. I almost forgot my duty altogether."

"Hatter, I'm sorry," Alice was pricked with guilt, yet her heart beat somewhat faster at what his words implied.

"No," Tarrant shook his head quickly. "Don't ever be sorry." He leaned forward just a little more so their foreheads were nearly touching. "Even if you don' slay the Jabberwock, don' ev'r be sorry. You're still _the _Alice. Nay, you're more than tha'. You're _my_ Alice."

There it was again, that feeling of desire that had come over her in the Red Queen's dressing room. And here she was now her right-proper Alice size. But she wondered if she should restrain herself or, better yet, run? After all, it was just a dream and one can't love a dream can they? She certainly didn't want to end up like her poor, delusional Aunt. However, Alice decided she didn't care anymore. This was her dream and, for once, any fear of it was completely gone as she looked deeply into the Hatter's eyes.

"I make the path," she whispered before she gathered what muchness she had in her and kissed him. A crazy, mad, wonderful kiss was the only way it seemed to Alice it could be described as. Then, for a brief moment, an image of Tarrant laughing joyfully, amidst a wonderful tea party, flashed within her mind causing her to pull away. "I _have_ dreamed of you before!" she suddenly exclaimed. She looked at him as though it was the first time she'd truly seen him in a very long time. "I remember you, Tarrant. I remember! I know I've dreamed you before," she could hardly contain her joy. She wished she could conjure up more images and details from past dreams, but it didn't really matter because now she was certain she'd met him in dreams before. Perhaps those had been the nights she hadn't felt the need to pinch herself, she considered.

Hearing her, Tarrant nearly broke his vow to not Futterwacken until Frabjous Day. At the moment, he didn't even care that she was still convinced it was all a dream. All that he could think about was that she remembered him! And she had kissed him! This sent him over the edge and a different kind of madness took control as his lips met hers again, her own madness agreeing with the action wholeheartedly.

And with that, all Thoughts of duties and dreams were banished and even Time obliged to temporarily stop again so their crazy, mad, wonderful kiss could last longer than any kiss in any world ever had.

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**You know, maybe all I had to do was go ahead and post this. Because now, I feel the muse returning. Suddenly, it seems to makes sense to me what to do next. Oh, I love inspiration. Again, a very big thanks to _Manniness _:) Oh, and in the book, when Alice first arrives at the Tea Party, Tarrant does reach out to touch her hair, but then recoils. So that's where that bit comes from.  
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